After their boss gets fired, employee is left to manage department alone, leading to a dispute with a demanding coworker: 'I have too much on my plate'

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    "I don't have the bandwidth to listen to her rant"
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    Our manager was fired, I'm the fill-in and I can't deal with my coworker...
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    I'm frustrated. I'm a 29F and work for a start up company. It used to be 3 of us in our department but our manager is fired and our director told me she wants me to grow into the manager position - great! Awesome news...
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    Problem is, at the time my manager was fired, I was just training our new coworker but it's been nearly 6 months and she still likes to do a lot of talking through scenarios. I don't mind if
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    she sends me a message on teams, but I really have a lot on my plate and I don't have the bandwidth to hop on calls with her once or sometimes multiple times a day to listen to her rant
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    about something or talk through something she eventually could have resolved herself is she just took the time to slow down and look at the big picture.
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    I don't mind questions at all, BUT I did create multiple resources/guides for her to reference for FAQ. When I really can't be bothered to repeat something I just tell her to look
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    at the guide. The most frustrating part is she's the kind of person that speaks with urgency and a sort of dramatic tone that stresses me out. It literally raises my blood pressure and I can't wait to get off the call.
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    Especially since she over-talks me or doesn't even wait for me to answer her question and just goes into ramble mode. I often feel like saying "please st u and listen so I can give you the
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    solution in 5 minutes rather than take up 30mins of my time with this call". Sometimes I think it's because there's an age gap between us and she doesn't really respect me. She's 59. Advice?
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    ballbrewing 18 hr. ago • I had a direct report one time who sounds similar. Every 1:1 she started with a frantic attitude, like we wouldn't have enough time to get through everything. But she just wanted to talk through every
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    scenario where she knew the answers. It was infuriating and I eventually just snapped one day and said the way she communicates consistently conveys to me that she's overwhelmed and it makes me
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    feel overwhelmed when we're in the same call. That I got feedback from stakeholders on the same (true) and she needed to work on this by better preparing for her calls and creating an agenda.
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    I honestly had her slated for a pip, I did not think she would turn it around (she was NOT new in her career she had 20+ years of experience), and yet she made a 180.
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    Address how she's taking too much of your time, be blunt that you haven't established boundaries until now but your bandwidth is too limited to keep this up.
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    mindyourown_biz OP. 15 hr. ago Thank you so much, this is super helpful and definitely trying to avoid snapping at her. I'll try addressing her communication style first!
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    GirlStiletto 18 hr. ago • ASK her to send you emails with her problems and concerns bullet pointed out in order of urgency and importance.
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    mindyourown_biz OP. 15 hr. ago Ooo that's a good idea. Only thing is I fear since we're used to communicating via Teams. I don't know how to transition it to emails. Tips?
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    HubbaHubba4444 · 14 hr. ago They've been around for a while....Type and send.
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    s33n 18 hr. ago You get to be a manager now. Set boundaries and expectations
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    mindyourown_biz OP. 15 hr. ago It is for sure boundary time! Thanks y'all
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    Upper B t 17 hr. ago Did you tell her any of this? It's your job as a manager to manage this behaviour.
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    • mindyourown_biz OP 15 hr. ago Fair play, I guess I'm lucky I'm getting a little practice with just one person
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    Technical-Paper427.16 hr. ago Dear co-worker, We seem to not be able to have short calls with eachother, so I have thought about this: Let's plan a weekly catch-up and starting the week hour. We'll drink coffee, talk about
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    the weekend, what happened last week and what we're doing next week for one hour. The rest of the week we'll have to message eachother through mail or teams. When there is something that has
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    to be talked about we have to request a meeting and plan this in a max 15 minute call at the end or start of day. Or you could plan a daily call. And for the rest decline. You called, I don't have time to call, wazzup?
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    • mindyourown_biz OP 15 hr. ago Thank youuuuuuuuu. This is awesome!
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    audentiaaltus3507. 17 hr. ago Set clear expectations, prioritize tasks, and politely tell her to reference the guides.
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    mindyourown_biz OP 15 hr. ago I do typically set priorities for the week. She used to send me long paragraphs on teams but these days she just requests a "quick" phone call which typically last at least 17mins or
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    up to 30 or more. It does get old pretty fast. I guess I'm not obligated to get on a call though, I can just tell her I'm busy. But when I do, she'd say that she'll wait until I'm done with what I'm doing.

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